Spirit Immortal

"No... I’m... I’m fine..." Shin shook his head as if in denial. "Please... Tell me what your father’s name was again?"

"Ah, his name is Garland Mull! I’m Latina Mull! He was a mercenary that disappeared four years ago..." Latina dropped her eyes while her face tightened. "I don’t know why he abandoned me, and I’m not sure if he really cares about me anymore... But I do want some closure. Whether he’s alive or dead. I want to know so that I can get on with my life." That was Latina’s wish, and Shin’s promise to her.

In exchange for bringing the seven young heroes around the Estrella Region, Shin would help Latina find her father, who had disappeared many years back. Back then, Shin felt that it was irresponsible for a mercenary to leave his child alone for months at a time, not to mention, leaving her for good. He had even theorised that Latina’s father had been one of the many casualties in the war against the Black Masks. Well, it looks like Shin wasn’t wrong after all.

"S-Star... F-Face..." Disjointed words sprung out of the wheelchair-bound youth’s mouth, and Kanari was worried that he was having a stroke. Reaching out, she asked:

"What’s wrong, Shin? Do you need to lie down?"

"Yeah, we can come back another time." Natalie was the first to propose a change of plans. "The matter with Latina’s father can wait. Garland has been gone for four years now. Waiting a few more days won’t change the outcome."

"No... I..." Shin knew of Star Face’s fate. He was personally there when the mercenary killed himself and his partner Cyphia. But there was one caveat...

Shin was the one that forced them to die.

He should tell Latina. No, he must. But each time he tried to talk, the words failed to roll out his tongue. Shin’s heart felt like it was about to burst, and his face was beet red with fear and anxiety. Cold sweat dripped out from his pores even though he wasn’t physically active. This was a foreign feeling to Shin. His vocal cords closed and his lips started to dry. Heaving out large breaths, the young man turned asthmatic in a matter of seconds and was on the verge of collapsing

"Shin! What’s going on?" Kanari cried out. She didn’t understand why Shin was behaving in this manner.

"Young hero, are you feeling alright?!" "Brother Shin! What happened?!"

Latina and Natalie both rushed forward, their voices overlapping with one another. At that moment, Shin saw a horrifying vision. Latina’s small and harmless body had turned into a monstrous figure, one that was no weaker than the Payirci. It was akin to staring into death’s bottomless pit itself. Shin wanted no part of it anymore.

"Please... Just leave me for a while..." begged Shin.

"Er... Ah, Claudia! Please escort the two of them to the waiting room." The first one to react was Kanari. She asked her butler to move the two mercenaries to another place while she rolled Shin’s wheelchair away. Something was amiss. The young man never acted in this manner before. Latina and Natalie blinked and ultimately followed the guiding hand far away from the lush garden, giving Shin some needed time to gather his thoughts. He stared up into the vast infinite blue sky, his eyes glistening along with the suns potent rays.

"Garland Mull... Star Face... Four years... Mercenary... I should have seen the link ages ago..."

"What’s wrong?" Kanari heard Shin’s soft mutter and crouched down right before him.

Shin sighed. There was no point in hiding it. "Latina’s father... Star Face... He was the one I forced into suicide four years back in the Land of Dreams."

"Latina’s father is what?!" An exasperated cry, no an agitated scream turned the garden upside down. Kanari’s face and dropped jaws were frozen in place. She didn’t know how to react to Shin’s statement. Then, she recalled the day where she came to Shin’s room to deliver a care package. Back then, Shin did recount his experience where two mercenaries that had allied with the Black Masks took their own lives and blamed Shin for their deaths. Kanari had even opened up about the first time she killed another soul, just to ease Shin’s tensed heart.

"They... She..." Pointing the finger to the exit, Kanari was rendered into the same state as Shin. How vast was this world? Billions of acres and billions of people. So why? Why was Latina’s father Star Face? Couldn’t the heavens have picked a random sellsword that perished in a faraway land? Why was it Star Face?

"I... Have to tell her..." a weak voice blurted out. Shin was shivering from head to toe, and his eyes could barely see. He didn’t want to break the news. Shin didn’t want to tell Latina that the big brother she could depend on, the one that brought her all the way out from Huuring City, was the same person that killed her father. Furthermore, Shin didn’t want to face the truth. He robbed Latina of a happy life. He was the reason why Latina had to leave her village and work tirelessly as a mercenary. He was the one that took Latina’s father away from her, and it was a mistake that could never be remedied.

"Shin..."

"I... must tell her..." That was his promise to Latina. It was his oath that had to be fulfilled. What was worse? Keeping Latina in the dark forever only to have her find out by other means? Even if Shin did manage to lie to Latina, there was no lying to himself. The guilt that he buried would continue to eat into his heart, and every time he saw Latina in the future with a clueless face, Shin would feel the urge to bang his head against the wall.

"Ask them to come back..." Weakly... Sadly... Shin requested. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to.

"Shin, we can always sort this out later. Take some time to recov-"

"No, this cannot wait!" Shin screamed, jerking Kanari’s head back a few centimetres. "If we wait, I might be tempted to lie. I must tell her the truth. I must tell her everything now..." It was enticing. Lying from his teeth to save himself the guilt and embarrassment that was to come. However, Shin knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do.

The soft footsteps of Latina creaked the bamboo floor, waking Shin up from his dazed state. It was fully lit in the lush garden, but Shin felt like night had arrived. Latina was a hundred and fifty centimetres tall. Her new garments were luxurious, probably a generous gift from Elrin to doll her up as she made herself known in the Capital. She was gaunt and her complexion a little haggard. Though she had been eating well for the past few weeks, a couple of good meals a day couldn’t change a poorly nourished body overnight.

Latina didn’t have everything in the Moon Mercenaries. Even less before Natalie found her and brought her in. Money was tight, and the food wasn’t clean. Huuring City was hardly a place to raise a child. Nonetheless, Latina persevered. She persevered and survived. But why was she put into that position in the first place? Wasn’t it because of the disappearance of her father?

So what if Shin gave Latina a better life, a life that she could have never dreamt before? He still robbed her of the one kin she had in the world.

"Latina... Sit down. I have something to tell you." Shin’s fingers were still trembling. His face was ghostly pale, and his teeth were holding back its chattering.

"W-What is it?" Latina could tell that something was amiss. Shin’s gaze towards her had turned from one of affection to one of pure fear. She felt like Shin was a rabbit begging not to be killed before a dinner table. Kanari had the same expression. Both her eyes were closed and her fists, clenched. She couldn’t bear to see the aftermath of Shin’s decision.

"Latina... Your father... Star Face... He’s dead."

"Oh." A straightforward answer. That was the only response that Latina could give Shin. If Latina was honest with herself, she half-anticipated that her father had passed on. Star Face may have been a bad parent who was almost always absent, but he had always come back for that few months to spend some time with her. He had even placed living expenses in her hands before leaving for extended periods.

"So... My father is actually dead..." Not knowing why Latina’s eyes started to mist. Her vision was blurred, and her throat dried up. There were thousands of thoughts going into Latina’s mind at this moment. Memories of her father teaching her how to start a fire, the first time he brought home a wild boar for cooking, and the time he wailed when her mother died. Back then, Latina really felt that it was her father and her against the world. Now... She was all alone.

’No, I have been alone... I have been alone since father disappeared.’

Latina teared up. Though she wasn’t about to let her emotions take control of her. She was now thirteen-years-old. She had been hustling in the ’real world’ for four years now. Latina knew how to handle herself. However, Shin was just about to break the girl’s composure with another truth bomb.

"There is one more thing." Shin gulped. With all eyes on him, he couldn’t back out now.

"I was the one who killed him. I killed Star Face, your father."

"!!!"

Latina and Natalie stopped their movements as if they had been suspended in time. They both knew Star Face personally and didn’t understand how he could have gotten embroiled in a situation that would pit him against the Prince of Water, one of the most accoladed youths of modern times. Also... They didn’t understand why Shin would have possibly killed him.

"W-What... W-What do you mean?" Instantly, Latina became more distant. At least in the eyes of Shin. Her posture changed, and her expression stiffened up. There was a little trepidation in Latina’s gaze, and she hunched towards her left, hoping to gain some distance between Shin and herself.

"Your father... Garland Mull. Worked with the Black Masks and was partly responsible for the massacre in the Land of Dreams. I was in the Land of Dreams chasing Junius, the Blade of Death and I saw him interacting with your father. So I tried to detain him for questioning but..." Shin inhaled once, his shoulders tightening. "He chose to die right before my eyes. Star Face... Took his own life. He would rather perish than surrender."

"M-My father... worked with the Black Masks?! He was responsible for the massacre in the Land of Dreams?" Latina let out a repetitive cry. She had no idea how she should react. "You... saw him die?"

"I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to."

Silence. What a strong word that was. Shin like his soul was being consumed by the quiet atmosphere as Latina looked down onto the grassy patch of land under her. Kanari and Natalie stood by, silent as well. This was a matter between Shin and Latina, it wasn’t their place to jump in.

"Can I... visit his grave?" Latina looked up, her eyes wholly bloodshot and thick gelatinous fluids flowed down from her nose.

"..." This time, it was Shin’s turn to be speechless. There was no grave for Star Face. In fact, due to the threat of the World Serpent back then, Shin didn’t have to luxury to reclaim the bodies for cremation. Most likely, the corpses had been consumed by wild animals and had long decomposed back into the soil.

"You didn’t even bury him?"

That one sentence broke Shin. That stare of derision. Those trembling lips. Those flared-up nostrils. It was a scene that Shin would never forget.

"Latina, I..."

"No... I’m sorry." The young girl stood up. She couldn’t look Shin in the eye anymore. Turning her head around, Latina cried out. "I have to go."

There wasn’t a goodbye. She didn’t even call out Shin’s name. Latina just left. She didn’t care that she was in another person’s house. Latina ran and ran until she was out of sight. Shin felt his soul sink deeper, and his heart break into a million pieces. The hurt, the pain that he was sustaining... It must be ten times worse for Latina.

’I... What have I done?’

✵✵✵

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